The art of Deciding.
How to’s are great, they teach you the application of the task you wish to do but it is first the art of deciding that needs to be mastered. I am not talking about just making a decision and no follow through, I am speaking about actively choosing and then doing the work to follow through. There is a very big difference here. People get a high off deciding something. Oh the new and exciting things that this will be but then the work part of it sets in and soon they realize that the decision they had made was not the choice they thought. Which is why you get a lot of people who “don’t know what they want.” It’s not knowing, it's a matter of commitment, effort involved and making that choice again and again.
The great art of deciding is making the choice to commit everyday and following through to achieve your goals. This maybe career, personal or whatever but deciding is way harder than people think because it’s the after part that most can’t cut. It’s the follow through that does a lot of people in because everyone wants to just be handed it on a silver platter rather than do the work but that only leads to unfulfillment and a void. Because the secret is we love the feeling of completing something that is from our own personal dreams. It gives us the biggest thrill and best feeling in the world knowing “I did this.”
So what can you do to start making decisions and stop crying about how you don’t know what you want?
Stop thinking
When you think that is when you start amounting pressure on the choice. You think about everything that will be involved and oh I can’t do that at all. But if instead you just took it bit by bit and chunk by chunk you would find that your dreams are truly achievable, they may just take longer than you think.
2. Trust your intuition
If you have that feeling in your gut, trust it. It’s never wrong. If you know you want to be a vet then do it. Don’t think about all the schooling and omg 6 years blah blah blah I will never do that. Listen 6 years is going to go by regardless. Stop thinking and start trusting your gut. Wouldn’t you rather start now than 5 years down the line when you are “finally ready?” Don’t go off your emotions, most the time they are blinded by fear or rosy pictures, go off your gut or logic.
3. ACTION
Decision is all about application. Start putting your steps in and doing the work. This is going to require you to stop being asleep for your life and wake the fuck up. Autopilot is for the weak minded, if you want to stay at that retail job not going anywhere be my guest but know you are much more capable then you think. If you want to rise you have to learn to climb, sitting on your butt daydreaming doesn’t do anything except give you a big butt.
4. Pro’s & Con’s
If you do need to think about it then make a pros and cons list. If the con’s outweighs the pros maybe you need to reword things. Like for instance, “this will take so much time.” To instead, “I get to spend my time doing the thing I want.” Fooled you right, there is no pros and cons list. You have already decided but you are going to try and psyche yourself out of it because you saw the amount of work that is required. So write your list and if those cons look like excuses then it’s time to look in the mirror and decide if you want to live your life or you want to be a zombie. Quit making excuses or blaming others for your lack of wanting to work.
5. Find out what you need to change
Figure out what is holding you back from pulling the trigger. If you aren’t ready right now what steps could you take to get you ready. What qualities do you need to learn?
What do you need to have in order to be ready?
If you aren’t doing that then what would you be doing instead?
Where are you spending your time?
Ask yourself questions to help you figure out why you aren’t able to decide. The more questions you ask yourself the more you can gain a sense of where you are at and what is holding you back. Once you know then you can always find ways to get over it.
There are probably a million decision making blogs and books out there you can read but ultimately it comes to you. For some reason you think that you just aren’t capable, worthy, lovable, cool, or whatever enough to do the work. Or maybe you feel entitled or that you are owed something, or maybe so many reasons, whatever your reasons find them. Hunt them down and scalp them. Those reasons should be your holy grail search because once you find the reasons you aren’t following through or living your life or deciding, then you get to change your approach. It’s all about figuring out yourself.
To decide means that you are putting yourself accountable and a lot of people aren’t ready for that. They have to much personal baggage that clings to them and keeps them down. I know, I use to have the worst cry baby attitude. I blamed my past, blamed others for why I couldn’t do something, and many other reasons. I got in my own way countless times but then I took responsibility. Which leads me to the 6th and final decision making step.
6. Responsibility.
You need to take responsibility for you and your life. Regardless of what happened, what is happening, what is going to happen you are in control right now of you. You get to decide if you want to work or not, cry or complain. You get to decide if you are going to hate on everyone who is working or judge them for putting in the effort. You get to decide if you are going to allow your jealousy and hate to fuel you to stay stuck or if you are going to let go of all the bullshit and stories and realize it’s up to you. You decide your own level of involvement. I know I have said this in numerous posts but hopefully soon you actually start to truly hear that. You decide your life.
So hopefully these steps will help you to stop being like I don’t know, and instead being like Fuck yea I’m doing this. I’m not saying its going to be easy or cake, shit I am still scared all the time I’m going to fail or fuck up but it’s normal. Doing something new is scary because you never did it before. Don’t chase perfection, it doesn’t exist, just chase honoring yourself and you will find perfection in your journey.
I hope these blog posts have been helpful and that this one in particular will help you along your journey. It’s hard being in a stuck place but when you are there that is when you need to do the work to get out or you will stay in that quicksand. Be the knight to you and save yourself because that’s the only one that’s going to do anything. So make good girl and good boy choices my friends.
Today was a 10.