8 steps you can take to help you find your voice!
The only way you can find your voice is by speaking your truth. Simple right? Well not always an easy feat. In order to find your voice you must first stand up to yourself. I spoke yesterday about facing your inner bully and today I want to help you find the fierceness to instead of settling for the same shit rise up and take back your power. This will take work and you may not like having to do that but if you do put in the effort it will pay off in the long run.
Finding your inner badass is a difficult journey. There are time I still have difficulties believing that she is in me and if anyone tells you they have it all mapped out then they are trying to sell you something. Know one has life figured out or theirselves. Life is ever changing around us and with it we do as well. Change isn’t always for the best so if you are thinking about people who haven’t changed or gotten worst there are some things that are different for them trust me. They say in 7 years you will have a completely different body so wouldn’t that be true for your mind as well? Yes an no, why? Because changing the mind requires effort. You could be clinging so desperate to that label you have adopted as your very nature since you were young, and even though everything around you is very different you still believe it.
Actively refusing to believe anything other than that belief is what makes you ego driven and unyielding to change. The fight upstream is hardest, so what are some steps you can take in order to go with the current and find your voice?
Question yourself.
Is who you are really this or is it everything you were told you would be? Did you take on others opinions of you, their likes, their fears? When you accept things as they are without question you become submissive to your life, instead ask the questions. Am I doing this because it’s easier or because I am to scared to try. It’s a good thing, acceptance, but a reality check especially if you are not happy would be a great way to see if it’s acceptance or complacency.
2. Become aware of your thoughts.
When you start to go down that tunnel. You know the one I am talking about. The one filled with insecurities, mean bullying, inner voice chatter I want you to shock yourself out of it. Realize that it’s happening, that it is like watching a tv show and then change the channel. Imagine your eyes are like the television screen, everything you are seeing, hearing, feeling is all happening like a show. Now if all of a sudden you start to feel anxious because you realize you have to go to work and you don’t want to do that, it’s time to change the channel. A change of mindset may be enough here to help or maybe you need to dig deeper and change careers all together. Once you find a channel you don’t like tune yourself to what you do want and set your map to take you there.
3. Fight back
If you are going into that space and can’t change the channel then it’s time to fight back. Call it out. If your feeling anxious because of work, ask yourself why? What at work is making me feel anxious? Maybe it’s a deadline or a person who always seems to act like a condescending tool. Narrow it down and when you find out what the reason is blast passed it with some uplifting self talk. If it’s a deadline, “I get to finish this project and prove to myself how amazing I am at time management, creativity and follow through.” Fighting back doesn’t always have to be negative. If you need to be negative then like I’ve said previously don’t be demeaning or name calling. It’s just low frequency and solves nothing.
4. Mirror role play
Say you are having an issue with the person at work and you did some pep talk to yourself but that anxiety is kicking in again. I want you to go into your bathroom and look at the mirror. I want you to let it out as if you are talking to that person. The first time you do it let all the bad out, like I mean the bad. Then look at your face, what does it remind you of? Hurt? Pain? Sadness? Now for the second talk I want you to talk to the person as if they had no idea their actions were affecting you the way they do. After this look at your face. Do you see shame? Or guilt? Now lastly I want you to speak from your heart. Imagine this person in the mirror and speak from a place of love. Is this person the same person now? Or is it a reflection of you? Sometimes the things others do is a reflection of ourselves and we don’t like those people or things because we in turn have similar traits. If this is not the case then proceed on. After doing it over and over find a way to take responsibility for your feelings while telling the other person they are crossing your boundaries, you will begin to feel your voice.
5. See a therapist.
I know I have said this before but therapy is not just for mentally ill people. It’s for everyone. This person is there to listen to you and help you learn what you are feeling, ways to cope and use your voice, heal, find confidence, deal with old beliefs and more. We are all fucked up in some way so finding someone who is the right fit will be life changing. My therapist helped me understand my past and come to terms with it. Because I put in the work with her I am here now.
6. Sing
If you are unable to do a talk in the mirror or scream it out or anything I want you to sing. I want you to make up a whole song dedicated to how you are feeling. It doesn’t have to make sense or even be a good tune at all. Our Vagus nerve runs through our vocal cords, when we hum or sing we stimulate both our digestion and our mind to work together. 2 brains are better than 1 and we all know the gut is our second brain. Singing it out will allow you to hear yourself, use your voice in a way that can become louder then normal talking and connect your body and mind. Plus singing soothes you. If you can’t figure out what to sing about then sing a song that reminds you of what you are feeling. Get really into it and feel everything. Let it out!
7. Public speaking or the like
Afraid of your voice, well get out there and use it by public speaking or doing something where the focus is on you. Terrifying I know but if you can take the eyes on you and speak without freezing, stuttering or feeling panicked then you can take it to the next level. BECOME VULNERABLE! If you got the public speaking down then take it to the next level and talk about something that is hard for you to speak about without crying. People love to support each other, seriously when you cry everyone listens because it’s showing a vulnerability to them that makes them feel seen to. Vulnerability is the key to deeper connections and finding your voice. I’ve seen plenty of people pretend, or act like big shots all the time but when it comes time to talk about their inner workings of their soul they have no idea how to begin. If you need to start behind a camera alone and sharing it that’s fine. It’s a start and small step. Find what works for you first and just practice it everyday.
8. Write
Journaling is such an amazing way for you to get your feelings out and show up for yourself that is private and helps you gain insight to yourself. Writing is transformative as long as you are consistent and apply yourself fully in it. It helps improve memory, linguistic skills, understanding your feelings and problem solving. The best way of course is that pen to paper old school, heart shaped lock diary, but if you want to use a laptop or a phone by all means do so. I do recommend if you are typing it out that you read it twice out loud to yourself. There is a different sense when you type rather than using a pen and paper.
Lastly use it! Use it as often as possible. Be silly, be weird, stand up and speak out. Be you and be true to whoever that is while using that beautiful voice of yours!
Showing up for yourself and using your voice can be difficult. Especially if you have fears of rejection, abandonment, and so on. Sometimes speaking up is just so unfamiliar that you don’t even know how to begin and that’s okay. Don’t fret! You can find your voice and discover a piece of who you are as you do so. All you have to do is believe in yourself and that you can and you will. So believe it my friends! If you have any other tips and tricks to finding your voice please share below! Let me know what you think! Thanks!
Today was a 9! Made more steps today to getting my move ready!!!