What are 8 ways you can stop comparing yourself to others.
We all do it. On social media we see everyone living their best lives, looking fabulous, acting like they are killing the game and then we look at our own lives and all of a sudden jealousy, discouragement, depression, anger, all the feels come in. We live in a world were we all just want to put our best foot forward and show our best angles and then we wonder why there are so many people in crisis. Listen reality isn’t that way. Someone’s success has no correlation to you whatsoever. You don’t know what someone has gone through, had to do to rise, overcome and be where they are at. You don’t know if there is sadness behind the smiles or loneliness amongst the group party shots. You have no idea what is going on in someone else’s life so how can you rightly compare yourself to them at all?
I know the feeling of scrolling social media finding myself getting depressed in a matter of 2 minutes by all the amazing things everyone else is doing. I see people doing stuff with friends, opening their second locations, building businesses and expanding and me for the longest time sat behind that screen getting more and more down on myself. It became a pity party of poor me, look at everyone else doing stuff with their lives and I am sitting on the couch watching grays anatomy for the 100th time. Bitch wake up! That is what I did. I stopped living for social media to be my way to feel connected and started working behind the scenes instead.
Instead of getting angry or jealous of someone else’s success I started to root them on. Instead of muting people I started to watch them. I started to accept that their lives were what they made of it and it had no play into where I was in my own life. I am where I am because I got myself to this point so it was up to me to push it even further if I wanted to start being happy rather than comparing myself to everyone else. Now I am not saying that there aren’t times I am like oh my god she is so fabulous how can I be more like that, because I do. But I don’t dwell on it, I don’t create that lack mentality. I start embracing what I need by taking action to get it.
So what are some steps you can do right now to stop comparing yourself to others?
1. Take a break from social media.
Just close out of your social medias for a while. Delete the apps if you must. Challenge yourself to read a book every time you want to go on social media or start a conversation with someone in real life. Find other ways to engage with the world rather than viewing it through a skewed lens.
2. Look inward
The minute you go on social media and you start having those ugly feelings pop up start to find out what isn’t working for you in your life. Why are you getting depressed seeing people you know have fun? Do you feel left out, or lonely? Do you want those kinds of friendships or invitations? Figure out the root of what the feeling is, once you investigate that then you know how to change it. Right? If you are feeling lonely maybe you invite a friend for a walk and some coffee. You get to change it, and it’s easier once you know the problem.
3. Meditate
I know I talk a lot about meditation but it’s so freaking helpful. Meditation isn’t always about just being in the silence and going in, it’s about being present with all the sounds, smells, feelings, everything in the right now. If you go on social media, hop off and instead take a 5 minute meditation and focus on your breathe. Clear your head so you can change your mentality.
4. Get up and move
But I don’t want to, wahhh, that’s so much effort. Listen if you want to wallow in the social media hell by all means, but if you want to instead get out of it then move your freaking body. Go take a group class, be around people while you move. Social media can isolate us, so do something that is socially engaging and requires movement. This could be Crossfit, spin class, water aerobics, hip hop dance, whatever! Just move!!!
5. Mute people
For a small period of time mute the people that are making your insecurities shine even harder. But don’t you want to grow from them? FUCK YES, but if every time you go on and see Susie fucking sunshine doing some outrageous thing that is making you hate yourself, mute her. Then it’s time for you to take responsibility for that feeling. You need to own why you are muting someone and come to accept it, then change it. If you really are going to stay that insecure then that’s your choice. Don’t try to dim their shine either by talking bad about them or spreading bad juju energy either. Work on yourself rather than being a negative Nancy.
6. Stay in your own fucking lane.
Stop looking at everyone else’s goals, dreams, posts, whatever and start focusing on what you are doing. Even if Sal is opening up a shop similar to your idea that doesn’t mean it will be anything like yours or even cater to the same kinds of people. You are different people and the sooner you realize that someone else’s dreams don’t stop yours from happening the sooner you will be happier. There is so much abundance out there, even if your shop fails and his doesn’t, does not mean you are a failure. Maybe you needed to learn some valuable lessons or learn what not to do for the next time. Maybe it wasn’t really even your true calling or maybe you didn’t put everything into it. Stay focused on you and what you are doing because that is the only control you have in this life.
7. Boost that positive self talk
Anytime you start thinking about someone else who is “further ahead.” What the hell does that even mean, there are no points in life. Like ooop here we go I am checking off this box now on time. Ugh. Anyways instead of focusing on them focus on you. Look at yourself in the mirror. Maybe you start complimenting your body or your smile. Maybe you look at yourself and am like you know what I am a smart biddy. Compliment yourself instead of berating yourself with all the things you aren’t doing that Rebecca is. Who the fuck cares about Rebecca? This is your life, are you really willing to give your power away that easy?
8. Invest in yourself
Figure out what you want and go for it. Seriously if you want to open up a business then start figuring out all the things that go with it. Expenses, income, target market, service or product? You don’t have to spend money right away you could literally start doing research or making a game plan and all’s that costs is your time. And since you’re worth it that’s easy right? Make actionable steps to getting you closer to where you want to be. If you want to become a powerlifter start with a trainer or figure out your nutrition game. Maybe join a gym that has powerlifters you can talk to. Whatever it is take the steps towards it otherwise it won’t happen. If you don’t take action then you can wish all you want, it’s not going to happen. There are no silver platters in life!
Use some of these or all of them so you can stop looking at everyone around you and instead look at yourself. You are worth it. Your life is what you make of it and if you wish to continue the negativity then I can’t stop you. But if you do then use these 8 steps or mix and mingle them. We don’t have to let social media and what others are doing be the reason we give up on ourselves. Instead we can take the opportunity to figure out the things we need to change and grow from it. I know I have. Where I was then to now is a much different breed of animal. I’m a fierce Rhino charging with my thick skin and willpower towards my bright future. So be a rhino, or anything you want! Find your power animal, mine right now is the Rhino! You deserve to live your life to the fullest so chose you my friend. If you have anymore steps you take please share them in the comments below! The more ways we can fight the negative the better!
Today was a 10!