What makes you feel in control?
Did you ever day dream about a conversation or how a situation should be? Then when that time comes to have the conversation or handle the situation it plays out a completely different way? What feelings arise from this? Sadness, disappointment, anger, and all sorts of emotions right? Why? Because those things had expectations and a desired outcome. When they fell short of what you thought that is when those emotions come up. In these moments that is when it is best to self reflect and realize that nothing is in your control except you.
Today I thought about this very topic and what makes me feel in control is when I take some time to breathe and recenter myself. I could be lost in the clouds daydreaming or thinking about all the things I have to do and psyching myself out but as soon as I center and breathe that is when I gain control over myself. I also like to remind myself that I can’t control anyone. Not their emotions, their words, their actions or them. So that helps me to remember that the day dream or conversation I had in my head was not reality or how it will play out. I do that so that I am not left disappointed or upset if it didn’t go exactly as I thought.
Besides breathing and centering what are some other ways I like to gain control?
Move. Movement is life and if you are sitting still and stagnant then your more likely to get caught up in the head space rather than get back into your body. When you start moving you get back into your body and that grounds you. So move! It can be literally any type of movement.
Accept your feelings. If you are getting overwhelmed and caught up in the swirling storm of emotions surrounding you accept that they are there and embrace them. When you fight your emotions or are being resistant that is when they get louder and spiral you out.
Work on a project, hobby or crafts. Doing something with your hands again brings you back to your body and out of your head. Plus it helps you to focus on something you are able to control. Remember we are only in control of our reactions, our actions and emotions.
Work on something that you can control right now. By taking action towards whatever is on your mind and getting one task done it will help you feel that you are moving forward. When we take action towards our chores, jobs or tasks we are not only getting a sense of control back but propelling us with forward momentum. This helps you keep tackling task after task and move forward.
These are some ways for you to gain some sense of control back. I know that feeling out of control can be anxiety inducing and leave you in a state of panic but you can always gain control back of yourself. It may seem challenging but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Everything in life is attainable. Take some deep breaths, focus on you and move forward.
Be well my friend.
Today was a 7.