Doubt
When we doubt our own fucking greatness we stop growth, change, and any type of momentum. A lack of confidence is a Denial of ones true worth. It wreaks havoc in your life, in the relationship with yourself and all that comes from it is a constant state of fear and judgement. Doubt is the opposite of belief and when you doubt, like attracts like, thusly creating more of the same thing; doubt. We are what we think and believe, so who are you based upon that truth?
I am brilliant, and an optimist. I am lucky and great things are always happening for me. I am creative and intelligent and feel that I shine in a room. Was this always the case for me? Well no, I use to be sad and feel that I didn’t matter. I wanted so badly to be loved but I couldn’t love myself. I couldn’t believe in who I was and it showed. My business suffered and struggled, my friendships were consisting of people who were narcissistic types who used me and couldn’t take responsibility for themselves, who always tried to be like no thats you. My relationships suffered, and I was quiet miserable. I sat alone most of the time because that is what I believed I was suppose to be, alone. I didn’t think I was worthy of family, real friendships, or depth.
So what happened? Covid 19 haha. But in all seriousness being in quarantine showed me what wasn’t working for me. It took all the self work I was doing and said yea, you think you have done the work, well here is the true test. And that’s what it was. I cried more, was beyond depressed, and felt more alone than ever in my life. But it showed me exactly the cycle I was continuing, and it got to a point so dark, so scary that I was like NO, I no longer except this as my reality. I stopped judging myself, I stopped punishing myself and blaming myself and instead loved hard. I found gratitude for my pain, and cycles. I found who I was in the darkest place I’ve been. I cut people out that I thought were friends, I fixed relationships that I knew needed it, and I put up boundaries hard for me. I allowed life to be an adventure again, for my joy to blossom and over the past few months it has bloomed into something so incredible I feel so happy where I am now. I am so grateful for everything I have right now and am eager for what’s next because it’s on a whole new level.
During that quarantine I was scared and let everything come up I needed to. I faced myself everyday and was so grateful for that isolation because that is when I finally stepped into my abundant mindset and higher vibrational frequency. I smile so much, laugh often and feel like I belong in the world. I feel more creative and free than I’ve ever been, and it’s all because I was finally willing to look in the mirror. I was finally ready to say hey, no more. I’ve had moments of doubt, even like 3 weeks ago, but since that last time I let it be what it was. I stopped thinking about it, I stopped making that feeling my focus. I now focus on creating, on living in my best self. And my hope for you is that you do the same.
My dear friend I hope that you see how amazingly awesome you are. That you bring something truly unique that is from your own creative soul power. I get being in a place of stagnation and hurt, but it no longer resonates with me. I empower the positivity, the connections, the smiles, and the amazing love and compassion that exists. I hope for you to experience that as well and for you to be ready to welcome it. Stay safe my friend, and may you truly love yourself with a love so fierce you feel the embers burning inside, driving you, inspiring you.
Today was a 10!