Judgmental Shrew
Everyone is judging. We judge things we don’t know, traits we don’t exhibit, every second judging someone. Gauging them on a scale of where they fall on our likes and dislikes. And if you think you are above judgement then quit lying to yourself. Every encounter we process and judge the experience, and judgment is not always this big bad thing everyone likes to think it is. Judgement can be an useful tool for you to use in order to feel someone out. Have you ever met someone and right away you just felt something off, that little alert in your internal guidance system is letting you know something isn’t right. But we are told not to judge a book by its cover and sure that can be true, but don’t knock that little voice either because it’s usually right.
We judge people based on looks, career, how they are doing and if they are settling. Well she can do so much better is a judgement yet we use it as a boost to someone’s blown ego after a relationship ends. And let me ask you something, so what if others are judging you, it’s to be expected. They judge you if you fail, for your flaws, they judge you for your successes and your wins, they judge you every second. I would be lying to say I don’t judge because I do. I use to say I am not judgmental but I am. I judge whether you are kind or your are trying to pull one over on someone. I judge if you are putting in the work or not. I judge if you are emotionally intelligent or not. I judge all the time and I bet you do as well. It’s human.
The sooner we can accept this supposed “taboo” about our nature than the sooner we can start using that judgement to speak our truths. That’s right judgement is a basis of some truth you hold. I am judging this persons action because I believe it to be shady and hurtful, so why not call them out? See my point? Judgement is a way for you to start using your voice. It’s a way to be like wow something isn’t making me feel safe here and it may be because this is triggering me. Oh maybe I need to learn my triggers. Yea because you judged an area and made it about that without realizing that every judgement you make is ultimately about you. That’s right the things we judge the harshest or dislike in others is usually a part of ourselves we reject.
Oh snap, really? Yea. We tend to dislike things in others that remind us of our own inadequacies and flaws, or even traumas we have been through. See how judgement can lead to you speaking your truth, finding your truth to begin with and than it’s up to you to do something about it. If you want to keep harping about how Susan is so loud and needing to be the center of attention all the time, then look at what is going on with yourself. Maybe that is something you are craving, the spotlight. But you were told you were born to sit in the corner, or you were made to feel inadequate or some other reason or lie you told yourself that makes you hide in the corner than instead getting some spotlight of your own. It’s a funny thing how judgement can point at your own inadequacies and fears.
So use judgments to help you decipher what is going on with you. Maybe you muted someone on instagram because their success made you look at yourself and realize you were not doing the work to succeed. (Guilty) That’s right I stopped looking at other’s stories for fear of not being as good, seeing their successes and wins, or feeling left out. But instead of staying in that judgmental low place that is when I took a look in the mirror and asked myself why is their success and happiness making me feel this way. That’s when I put in the work. I was tired of doing that and judging people when they were just living their lives. I began to invest in myself and what I wanted rather than living in my life as a judgmental shrew.
They say do unto others as you want done unto you and that isn’t just what people can see. It’s also about the stuff people don’t see as well. So use judgement as a basis for you to grow, use your voice and realize your own inadequacies. Let it be your mentor for insight into yourself. So many times people don’t know how they are feeling or what and instead will judge someone else for not eating right, being fat or overweight, being to skinny, being to muscular, to lanky, meal prepping and taking care of their bodies, there are so many judgements out there. But ultimately that judgement is an inadequacy or lack of something in themselves.
So if someone judges you then shrug it off and remember that is a reflection of themselves they are trying to cast on you. It’s up to you whether you are going to claim what they are saying as you or if you are going to tell them to fuck off. No one can tell you who you are, even if they give their 2 cents and think they know you it’s all bs. You validate who you are and the moment you need that outside validation and accept what others say is the moment you give away your power and become someone else’s judgement.
Let’s start understanding that judgement is a key insight into ourselves, and it’s okay if you are judging others. It helps you use your voice, find your truth, hone in on your weaknesses and allows for change. Reflect my friends and allows yourself to grow from it. I know that when I finally started to check in with myself and understand my judgements I was able to really grow from there. Use it as a compass to become who you want to be.
Today was an 8. More energy, yay!