The Inner Child

Within us all is a part of us that some call our inner child. It is the part of us that needs love the most, it needs to be nourished and supported and made to feel safe. I believe our inner child is the part of us that is free and creative yet doesn’t understand why we put shackles and criticize ourselves. It is the part of us that can throw a tantrum within and part take in the thief of joys acts.

Imagine you have a child and a mother. The mother is interacting nonstop with the child and it is laughing and smiling. Now take that same scene, and have the mother stop interacting all together. No smiles, no interactions, not even acknowledging the child is there what happens? Well the child slowly submits and introverts within. They try desperately to get the mothers attention again. They do everything they can until finally they surrender and give up. This is actually called the still face experiment and I bring it up because it is like our inner child. That kid inside us just wants to be seen, wants to be heard and loved and understood. And we are to busy beating ourselves up that we don’t seem to notice it crying out. 

What are some things we can do then? Well when I was first learning to connect with my inner child I tried to imagine it during a breathing exercise. I tried to imagine this little child being pushed around and never shown stability. I imagined all the things she went through good and bad and tried to understand how she was feeling. This gave me insight into how I truly felt. It also allowed me to understand that beneath the critic is the child. 

After I was able to visualize it I started to talk to myself, in my head whenever something would come up. I use to ask why am I feeling this way, but soon found out that that invalidates your feelings. Instead I started to ask what is arising in me. That would allow the feeling to come and feeling it head first like diving into the deep end of a pool was the way through. Feeling the critics anxiety or fear or insecurity allows me to understand the child because they are the same person, you. 

When you are feeling the emotion let it become intoxicating. Overwhelming the mind and washing over you like a rain. It isn’t easy because most times we want to shove it back down, or avoid it or run away. But feel it. While I felt it I spoke to my inner child. Not with judgement, not with criticism, but in a non partial way. You want to understand the feeling and accept it, not invalidate it. So speak kindly, allow the feeling to navigate your way. Not the other way around. You have to be like your on a raft on a river, slowly steering it but going where the river takes you. That is when I discovered my own truths, and after was so happy. I wrote about this the other day, but after you feel the emotion, at least for me I felt so happy. It was like I could breathe and I didn’t fall in the river and was drowning, or being pushed up against rocks. I was able to surrender and found peace through acceptance. 

So how about you? What is your inner child talking to you about? What are some frequent temper tantrums that come up? It can look like anxiety, or depression. It can look like rage or hate. What arises in you that your inner child wants you to see so you can go back to having fun? Practice breathing with yourself. Really focus on your breathe when you do this. Don’t hold your breath and get tense, remember breathe is life. When you stop you die. Same goes for your your thoughts and feelings. When you stop breathing your emotions stop flowing and get stuck in panic. Just breathe.

Today I am at a 9 again. I remained at a 9 yesterday! Woo. Keep it up!!! Exercise is definitely causing it to be higher.