5 things that fuck up your mentality
Mentality is what keeps us motivated and trudging forward, nose to the ground plowing on. It’s the headspace that dictates how you are viewing reality, so if you are viewing life in a negative way or a lack way then that is all you will be able to see in your reality and vice versa. It’s a way of thinking so if you believe you can then you will, if you believe you can’t then you never will. I can give you all the words on how to get your mentality in the right space, to get motivated but instead let’s discuss what is actually fucking up your mentality to begin with.
Looking at the past.
We look at how we use to be. Picture this, “I use to run a 7 minute mile and now when I step up to do it I am hitting 15 minutes.” What happens then? We get discouraged and disappointed. By gauging ourselves to a former version of ourselves we dismiss who we are now and this stops us from ever trying. We beat ourselves up for not being at the same caliber we once were and that makes continuing forward even harder. This leads to giving up before we even start. So how do you combat this?
Wake up tomorrow as a beginner and everyday that follows because if you are just beginning you have nothing to compare yourself too.
Right now you are beginning a new portion of your life. You are a different person physically, mentally, emotionally, and this person right now may not have the same motivation as the old one. If you go forward with the mentality of a beginner then you will always be striving to get better rather than comparing yourself to the novice you once were. Every time you do something you are a beginner whether you are skilled in it or not, when you think of that then you will be able to be present in the now rather than looking at where you were and have a dream for where you want to be.
2. Quit comparing yourself to you and others
I get it, you see others doing things you wish you had the courage or skill to be doing but comparing yourself to where they are is like comparing gumdrops to espresso beans. There is no correlation. What that does is only keep you focused on someone else or a version of you that you wish you still were instead of rejoicing the person you are right now. So what, you aren’t a business owner yet and susie is, what does that even have to do with you?
Comparing yourself to someone else, their accomplishments, what they have is the greatest waste of mental space. All’s that does is to be like wow I am nothing compared to what Susie did, I might as well never try because she has it already. That is just stupid.
Stay in your own lane and focus on you.
Mind your business and just set the trajectory to the moon for yourself and celebrate every little tiny accomplishment. You got a DBA? Bitch give yourself a high five!
How can you fight this? Stay off social media. It’s the place people go to kill their dreams and ambition. Write things you do like about yourself right now, at least 10! Post it on your mirror in the bathroom or a place you can see everyday. Write a daily checklist and cross off at least 2 things off by the end of the day. It’s okay if all things aren’t done because sometimes life happens, but make it a note to do at least 2. Find reasons to love you and be proud of who you are rather than live in a place where you see only the things you lack as a person. Ewwww.
3. Doing things that cause you displeasure. (Addictions)
Are you a smoker? An overeater? Someone who uses these negative addictions when feeling overwhelmed and stressed out? Well this may be hard to hear but changing these negative habits into positive ones is going to be the way you boost your mentality. If you are going to the gym 3-5 times a week and smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and wondering why you don’t ever get a boost in your career or love life or your body, you have to look at the negative here. Addictions are this high intensity instant gratification and every time you give into it you instill the neural pathway only making it harder to quit. You become reliant on something negative in order to feel better rather than working on an alternative method. Like replacing it with something positive, doing therapy, getting to the root of why this started, making the act of quitting this positive rather than a negative thing.
These types of displeasures turn you off to putting in the work and instead reward you for these self destructive tendencies.
It’s avoidance behavior.
I smoke to avoid the stress from my job. I drink to avoid the pain I feel from my past. I overeat to avoid my feelings. Addictions are escape acts to avoid our emotions and traumas.
How can we change this? Go to therapy. Find a way of quitting by finding a sponsor, a therapist, a fellow addict, or friend. Make the act of quitting a positive rather than a painful experience. Find a positive way to release this behavior, picking up knitting or painting. Being creative allows for expression, the opposite of this is repression. We want to get it up and out rather than bottle it in and rot.
4. Demeaning self talk
This will crush you every time. What are you saying about yourself? Do you hear yourself saying that you're stupid or ugly or that you can’t do something? Alls that does is keep you down instilling that very negative attitude about yourself until you can’t see it any other way. That adopted nature becomes a normal that you don’t even realize you’re saying these things.
For example: I called myself stupid the other day because I forgot to do something.
What does forgetting to do something have to do with intelligence? Did me forgetting cause harm to someone else? NO! Then why did I reprimand myself for doing a small inconvenience? Because we are taught to strive for perfection, get straight A’s, no mistakes. Every time we deem ourselves imperfect, unworthy, lower than our expectations that is when we harp on ourselves.
So how do we change this?
Watch how you speak about yourself. If you can be the watcher and notice how you talk about you that is when you can catch it. When you are about to call yourself dumb or fat or stupid or ugly or anything mean instead tell yourself a positive compliment. Like damn I may of forgot to bring this to work with me but it’s okay, I’m still an amazingly smart person. Mistakes are okay, minor inconveniences are okay, being a bully to yourself is not. Get right with you, love on you, because you have to live with you for the rest of your life. Don’t you want a good relationship?
5. Lack of movement.
An object at rest will stay at rest. So this means if you are sitting still not moving forward then you won’t find motivation or a reason to get up and do it. Usually what happens when you are sitting still you start to compare, you start to be mean to yourself and beat yourself up about all the things you should be doing, you may find yourself overeating or over watching tv, you may be using the other 4 previous motivation killers.
Movement is life. You breathe in and out you move your chest up and down. When you stop breathing you start panicking and you over think. (ex. Why do you think cigarettes are so addictive besides the nicotine and the habit? Because you are taking LARGE DEEP BREATHS!!)
How can you change this? Get up and do something. Grab a book instead of watching tv. Go for a walk instead of sitting inside. Do yoga, run, play, fly a freaking kite. If you don’t know what to do try new things. It doesn’t matter but get up and move because when you sit still that is when you aren’t doing, instead you are thinking or avoiding.
These 5 mentality killers will zap the motivation from underneath you. People aren’t born motivated and driven and passionate its a skill, a habit and because they don’t let these 5 things get in the way of shifting their mentality to the right frame of mind. So tomorrow start as a beginner in all things you do and build yourself up. Gain momentum by doing and pushing forward rather than sitting stagnant and avoiding life. You determine your own level of involvement, do you want to be involved in your life or avoiding it all together? Like always the choice is yours and yours alone so make good girl or good boy choices my friend!!!
Today was a 10!