Alignment when it is right
We all face the change challenge. New job, new apartment, new friends, move, etc. Do we move in together, do we decide to take the next step. There are always forward progressions in life. It’s inevitable. So what happens when we stay stuck and stagnant. When instead of moving forward we resist and just allow life to pass us by? Regret, depression, anxiety. We look back on things we didn’t do and are like damn if I had only done this sooner, or I wish I would of just done that instead of sitting on my ass eating.
I say the regret thing because I hear that a lot from people. I’m not saying this to be an ass but I regret nothing in my life, or how long it took me to arrive. I arrived precisely when I meant to as Gandalf says. I use to feel this regret when I was much younger, but now I only feel gratitude for the steps I took to heal. It’s not a race, you learn when you are ready, you make a move when you are ready. I don’t want there to be shame attached to regret because that just adapts a mindset of negativity and self loathing. That is what I want to help you get away from. So when you feel regret look at it from another side, devils advocate (my favorite thing to do). So instead of attaching shame, failure, hopelessness to regret, lets remix the word.
Look back on things you wish you had done sooner, now picture this in your head. You are driving to work but you woke up like 15 min late and are scrambling to go. Then you left your keys inside the house so now it’s another 5 min on top of that. Then you spill your coffee on your shirt as your rushing out the door so you have to change, thats another 5 min. So now you are 25 min late. On your way to work you see a horrific accident. It’s so fresh like it had just happened. If you hadn’t woke up late, forgot your keys, had to change your shirt that accident might have been you. This goes for the time you think you wasted. Life doesn’t happen on accident, even in all the chaos there is a reason for it. You postponing going to school might be because your maturity and real determination didn’t kick in until after some event that taught you how short life is.
I didn’t go to massage school until 2011. You know how many times I danced with the idea of going? Do you know how many times I applied to the Swedish institute or looked at the school near my house? Every time I thought about going I had way to much fear. I couldn’t fathom taking out student loans and being in debt. I was so scared of money I had none and allowed myself to believe I wasn’t smart enough, wasn’t good enough, wasn’t talented enough, to ever become something other then a manager in retail. Not saying that is a bad position at all, it’s hard work. I just wanted more then to work in retail. Now if I had gone back when I first looked it would of been 2007. I waited 4 years to go. I kept bouncing back and forth, unsure, uncertain. But I wasn’t ready and that is okay.
Looking back do I regret resisting. Absolutely not. I would not have been in my last relationship had I gone to school sooner, and I needed that relationship to teach me my patterns, and the things I desperately needed to change. I wouldn’t have met some of the wonderful people in my life, and things may have went totally different. I aligned with massage school when the time was right for me to. Just as you will align with things when it is right. All that is required for that is patience, self love, faith, and trust. I know hard things right? But seriously like we spoke about the process, you will wind up exactly where you need to be in order to be who you are meant to be. Even if that means bad shit. Life isn’t sunshine and rainbows, pain begets love. I know it does because I have had pain, and now all I have in my heart is love. Love for myself, love for others, for life, for the world. Sure I have my moods like everyone, but I come from a place of love, or if I’m not I always get back to it as soon as possible.
So accept where you are at. You may not be ready for that huge change, you may be waiting for certain things to line up. There could be people you need to meet first, or healing that needs to be done before you are ready. I know we put a lot of emphasis on moving forward and change, and we are #selfgrowthwarriors, but sometimes sitting in the process, sitting in the stagnation is okay. It may help you see that you are tired of it. It may be the push you need to see you no longer accept what is happening as your reality anymore. Acceptance is understanding you, and being okay with what is. We only attach shame when we compare, when we think we wasted, when the lack mindset has come in and decimated our abundant mentality. So be kind my dear friend. You will arrive precisely when you mean too.
Today was an 8 1/2!